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 Friday, July 13, 2001
Posted
7/13/2001 08:42:00 PM
by Gerry Alanguilan
STUPID LIZARD STORIES I was lying in bed talking to my girlfriend Ilyn on the phone when I noticed this lizard on the far end of the ceiling slowly making its way towards me. The lizard moved slowly but deliberately towards the part of the ceiling directly above me. Now I've seen this happen before. Lizards hate me for some reason. They'd position themselves on top of me, then they drop a load of shit. I'm not kidding. Like I said this happened before and now there's this lizard, a bit of a large one, maybe planning on doing the same thing. I wasn't about to let him. Still lying on the bed, still talking to Ilyn on the phone, I picked up a coin, intending to throw it at the lizard to scare him off. Ilyn expressed concern that the coin may fall back on me and I said it's cool and that I've got it handled. Lining up my shot carefully, I threw the coin. It hit the lizard square in the back, cutting off its tail. Flailing wildly, the tail fell right on my face. Naturally, I freaked. If there's one thing I hate are those ungodly things that moved of it's own volition. I had let go of the phone as I wildly shook and patted myself trying to get the damned thing off. I swear I could hear my girlfriend laughing. And then I saw it. Right on my bed, still twitching. God, what a horrible sight. Good thing I didn't swallow it. Mustering my guts, I picked it up with two pieces of artboards and threw the damned thing out the window. What the hell am I doing? This is a perfect Crest Hut story and I just spoilt it! Aw, it's going in there anyway. Next to chickens, I love telling stupid stories about lizards.
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